WASHINGTON – Claiming that the situation was “highly volatile and dangerously close to spiraling out of control,” President Obama today ordered federal guard units to vacate their posts in Ferguson, MO, and relocate immediately to Cleveland to assist local disaster personnel in handling the outrage over Browns QB Johnny Manziel extending his middle finger during a preseason NFL game on ESPN Monday night, sources close to the unrest confirmed early Tuesday.
“Today, I am mobilizing the national guard from Missouri to travel from Ferguson to downtown Cleveland, where they can join other units from Ohio, Illinois, Indiana, and Michigan, in order to stand guard and attempt to maintain order in the wake of this horrifying national tragedy,” said Obama after images of Manziel’s middle finger were broadcast live to a national cable television audience. “The thoughts and prayers of my entire administration are with the residents of Cleveland, as well as with all Americans who were traumatized by this awful, unthinkable gesture.”
Added Obama: “May God have mercy on us all for what we have seen.”
Manziel, 21, extended the finger in question in the general direction of the Washington Redskins bench as an act of frustration late in the 3rd quarter of the exhibition match. Horrified viewers were exposed to the offensive image for nearly one full second, prompting a national panic and creating the need for the relocation of the Ferguson troops.
“While I have not forgotten about the clashes currently taking place in Missouri, my decision to shift the guard units from Ferguson to Cleveland came down to basic priorities,” said Obama. “Hopefully, the brave men and women of our various state forces will be able to control this situation and restore the area to a relative calm before we as a nation are forced to relive the nightmare of ‘nipplegate’ all over again.”